On a Murakami Binge

February was such an eventful month for this year, having to take my comprehensive exams for 3 Saturdays and at the same time, meet the requirements for an application of my life. This meant me submitting and completing the required documents and do my best in the interview. After all the studying, reviewing, and working, I finally found time to read and do a reading challenge before I finally start the dream soon.

Since last month, I have read a total of 7 books, 5 of which are from Haruki Murakami. I already read Kafka on the Shore and Norwegian Wood before so I truly wanted more from this author. And true enough, he never disappointed me. I can only say I have become a die-hard fan and a promoter of his books. So far, I have read the following in less than a month:

1. Sputnik Sweetheart
2. The Strange Library (this was the shortest and the simplest among all of his books that I have read)
3. Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki (my favorite together with Kafka on the Shore and Norwegian Wood)
4. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (my least favorite of all, contrary to popular belief)
5. South of the Border, West of the Sun

There is something in the way that Murakami writes and creates his stories that makes me yearn for more. I love that despite the seeming loneliness and despair I feel in his books, I can still find myself relating and viewing all his protagonists as someone in search for hope. The magic realism of Murakami might seem confusing at times, but the overall feeling evoked by his books make me long for more feelings to be felt.

There is solace in his books, a profound peace that I truly am grateful for. I missed reading so much that I am glad to have revived a part of me and had this binge for the past few weeks.

Next read: probably After Dark or Hard-Boiled Wonderland and End of the World

Risk is the Road to Reason

"Today, you will be afraid to take that leap of faith and you wished you did 2 years ago. But if you will let me, life will unfold itself the way you want it to be. You will reach that destination and take a glimpse of that past when you had that regret, remaining silent while tears fall down your cheeks. For this time, you are speechless and ecstatic at the infinite possibilities that welcome you." - 2012

For me, 2011 was a year of eccentricities, surprises and risks. I made a wish in 2010 and it was surely granted in the second quarter of the year. I found myself venturing into that uncertainty without looking back. Surely a bold move, but with that risk came a wonderfully unexpected reward - that which I will always treasure. 

Just like any year, it also had its ups and downs. From having dilemmas here and there, reunions and dates with friends,  and literally defying gravity, how can I forget 2011? But that bad fall resulted to a pinched nerve or to be more technical, L5 radiculopathy. I have had back pains for months but thankfully, therapy does wonders although I may still have clicking joints at the back. I could only wish this fall has something good to offer me, apart from the so-called lessons that it brings.

I found myself growing and becoming more mature this 2011. There have been so many firsts this year, God knows I have overworked myself. In fact, too much work made me question my social life, and that one important thing I have yet to clear up. If there is something to be learned this 2011, I guess it would be this:

"Be clear, and make IT clear."

The eccentric part is when things suddenly seem so vague, courage just can't be found.  While it is true that "love rewards the brave", doubt continues to cloud judgment. Honestly, how much is too much? How often does one have to give that someone the benefit of the doubt? How long must one have to wait?

http://moderndesignlife.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/loverewardsthebrave.jpg

So, 2011 may have given endless opportunities yet it was unable to supply the answers  I badly needed. Or maybe, it's just a matter of balance. That even if the questions haven't been answered [yet], time allows one to fuel that passion to prepare oneself for a new moment of letting one's guard down.

But really, I am still hopeful that everything will be - as it must and should be. I sound teleological but this only happens when clarity isn't within reach, especially when the odds are against having a reasonable explanation for it. After all, why must one seek for answers and explanation when it does not have to be answered and explained? This state of uncertainty proves that there is something more than the mind and deeper than myself. There is love.

As a graduate of the natural sciences, I may have been too engrossed in the idea of seeking for answers but do I really need to now? Is that all there is for us? I guess not. Yes, the absurdity that happened in 2011 will always remain unanswered - even in 2012 or until 2015. I just have to trust and for the first time, rely on that faith.

"Take that leap and endure the pain if you have to. I tell you,  faith will make the answers realizable and the reasons knowable, giving you the clarity you have always wanted."  - Risk

Have a crazy and fulfilling 2012! :)

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 “It's not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It's because we dare not venture that they are difficult.” - Seneca