"Though you
don't have a clue, love has found its way to you." - Unfold (acg
©2012)
I started this year
having doubts at so many things - trapped at this crossroad, each path offering
infinite possibilities to grow and find myself, knowing I am quite certain
there is something that I still haven't found yet. This certainty was all that I
needed to allow life to unfold itself before my eyes.
And it did.
January was a Hello to the many successes that I still have
yet to discover. Despite having the dilemma of doing even greater things, it
was a tough call whether to stay or go, or do something else. To say that this
month was eventful will be an understatement. Every single day meant a new goal
or challenge, seeing how every chance opened new windows for discovering
myself.
February was even
better as I both said Hello to the
acceptance of a goodbye and Farewell to
my frequent dose of so-called inspiration. That one reason for allowing me to
let love in was just there but really never here. This is not about letting go,
but rather facing the reality of learning to let go as I am off to something
even better and concrete. Definitely a challenge that I have now accepted.
Aside from work and
love both colliding at the first quarter of 2012, I've also been blessed to
share my song in the LIKKAS week, collaborating with a colleague and just
enjoying the gift of music. AJ Rafael's concert was also remarkable, especially
when it was my first time to watch a concert alone due to changes in schedule. That made it even more
memorable! It was a perfect night to contemplate and reminisce what were and
what could have been.
Singing "Someday" - an original composition
Singing "Tadhana" by Up Dharma Down with Ryza Martinez
And to recall what I
wrote in my previous post, I imagine 2012 telling me that "Today, you will be afraid to take that leap of faith
and you wished you did 2 years ago. But if you will let me, life will unfold
itself the way you want it to be. You will reach that destination and take a
glimpse of that past when you had that regret, remaining silent while tears
fall down your cheeks. For this time, you are speechless and ecstatic at the
infinite possibilities that welcome you." I must admit, teaching was not one of my
so-called dreams back then but now that I've immersed myself in this realm, I come to find solace in it as I continuously learn not just from the
experience itself but also from those casual conversations with my students who
made me even more patient than before.
Life has slowly unfolded and showed me that there are so many things out
there waiting to be known. There are so many wishes waiting to be granted, if
only I let them. As such, this year will be intended for more discernment
hoping I'll reach that destination real soon. Hoping that as 2012 progresses,
I'll be in awe of what I feel and be grateful that I have found what I truly
love.
The real struggle of
finding one's love never ends. It never is enough to just settle for knowing
and accepting. The matter itself requires a constant battle to strive and give
more reasons why it's best to allow oneself to be vulnerable, waiting for the
moment of truth not realizing it has been there all along.
It was a great
start, 2012. Keep surprising me with good memories. :)
---
Addendum: Whitney
Houston's passing was really saddening for me. Her songs will forever be
remembered together with the many memories that have become one with them. RIP,
Whitney. :(
