2013: Love Literally Conquered All

Once again, a new year is about to begin. Out with 2013, in with 2014. Each year definitely has its ups and downs but 2013 had some gray areas in between. Some were crystal clear, yet some were just too hazy to define. 

It was a year of both the discovered and the undiscovered. 

I'm grateful for a lot about this year, especially with the new challenges and responsibilities given to me at work, the travels and moments with friends and family, the continuing success in my Masters, the gifts I have given and received, and most importantly, the gift of loving and being loved in return. 

There are some wishes that were not fulfilled this year, but it's come to a point where acceptance is the only key to happiness. To accept is not to feel defeated but to just grow in contentment. And the love I gave and I was given was more than enough to handle and overcome anything. Beyond the failures, disappointments, regrets and sadness, love was there. And it was enough.

There is surely that uncertainty come 2014 - a lot of changes here and there but some constants, too. As always, we can choose to either sulk or have hope that it will be a bright year ahead. In the end, things will be certain and it will be perfectly clear.

Life has its own way of knocking us off our feet. Sometimes, we just tend to focus on the bad instead of seeing it in a positive viewpoint but that's step one to success. Get disappointed, feel bad about it but never forget to get up. Never lose hope because at the end of our days, our lives wouldn't matter if we never even knew how to hope. 

So, the waiting continues. In the meantime, I'll be grateful I have this one person I can count to always be there for me, to love and support pour toujours. Je t'aime beaucoup! <3

Despite the gray areas of 2013, let a new book begin with bright-colored pages, ready to be filled with memories of love and gratitude. 

Have a memorable and fantabulous 2014, everyone! Godspeed! 

[sas-g]

Christmas Throwback

Back then, I used to believe in Santa. Well, literally. It has been a conspiracy between my parents and sister or cousins back when I was a kid where I always received presents at an unexpected area at home or just under the tree, with "Santa's note" on it. Those train sets, chocolates and other goodies, even coins and some money in my stocking - these were only a few of the many gifts I received from "Santa" back then.

But as I grew up and became aware of this little conspiracy, things have changed and I can only hope that illusion could have stayed with me for a little longer.

If only Santa were real. Christmas has never been the same. The anticipation, thrill and excitement of checking my stocking every morning to see if there's something in it, and the waiting. Ah, memories.

Now, I get the point why adults before used to say that Christmas is for kids. The joy in giving presents to the kids is indescribable, especially when you see that big smile and glowing eyes of bliss. At times, I would wish for my childhood to be back, but it is with this maturity that I've treasured having a great childhood, which will definitely be passed on to my future children. :)

As we grow older, Christmas does not dwell on the material side anymore. True, it still brings smiles and warmth inside when we receive gifts from others; but there are even better gifts than those goodies. Time, peace, and joy brought by the presence and conversations with our loved ones, and most of all, spreading love to the people who matter. As the priests always say in their homilies, "It is in giving that we receive much more."

'Tis the season to be selfless, and to remember that the reason for this season is a Child who will be born to be selfless for us all. Santa may not be literally real but his image is a symbol of being selfless, sharing and giving to others. 

May we always have our inner Santa spread the cheer and love not only during the holidays but throughout the year. Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to you and your family! ❤

2012: Of Firsts, Risks, and Hopes

It has been my personal tradition to write a year-ender post to look back and be thankful for both the joys and the tears.

I remember posting this to welcome 2012: "Today, you will be afraid to take that leap of faith and you wished you did 2 years ago. But if you will let me, life will unfold itself the way you want it to be. You will reach that destination and take a glimpse of that past when you had that regret, remaining silent while tears fall down your cheeks. For this time, you are speechless and ecstatic at the infinite possibilities that welcome you." This was how I envisioned 2012 telling me, how this year ought to be MY year.

True enough, the year of the Dragon has given me loads of memories that make me so grateful. It has been a year of new experiences, definitely the year that made me so productive both at work and even in my social life. I have gone to 4 concerts, shared more music, taught summer classes, made new relationships, had a great birthday celebration, began my Masters (with perfect results) and many many more. Though there may have been a couple of sad moments, this year reminded me to always remain content with how good life has been for me and my loved ones.

Indeed, life has unfolded the way I wanted it to be this 2012. I have already let go of that one burden I've always held on for years and I'm glad someone saved me from the past. This year has been better with you around that I can only hope for us to make many memories with each other. (Tu sais que c'est toi :)) ❤

My wishes for 2013 are plain and simple: to be blessed with good health, success and more love. May there be new beginnings and even stronger friendships with old friends, all full of hope to reach whatever we desire and aspire.

2012 was great but I know my 2013 will even be better. For this, I thank you, Lord.

Here's to more infinite possibilities this 2013. Have a happy and meaningful new year! ☺

❤, [sas-g]

"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching" -- Unknown

The Road So Far

"Though you don't have a clue, love has found its way to you."  - Unfold (acg ©2012)

I started this year having doubts at so many things - trapped at this crossroad, each path offering infinite possibilities to grow and find myself, knowing I am quite certain there is something that I still haven't found yet. This certainty was all that I needed to allow life to unfold itself before my eyes.

And it did.

January was a Hello to the many successes that I still have yet to discover. Despite having the dilemma of doing even greater things, it was a tough call whether to stay or go, or do something else. To say that this month was eventful will be an understatement. Every single day meant a new goal or challenge, seeing how every chance opened new windows for discovering myself.

February was even better as I both said Hello to the acceptance of a goodbye and Farewell to my frequent dose of so-called inspiration. That one reason for allowing me to let love in was just there but really never here. This is not about letting go, but rather facing the reality of learning to let go as I am off to something even better and concrete. Definitely a challenge that I have now accepted.

Aside from work and love both colliding at the first quarter of 2012, I've also been blessed to share my song in the LIKKAS week, collaborating with a colleague and just enjoying the gift of music. AJ Rafael's concert was also remarkable, especially when it was my first time to watch a concert alone due to changes in schedule. That made it even more memorable! It was a perfect night to contemplate and reminisce what were and what could have been.

Singing "Someday" - an original composition

Singing "Tadhana" by Up Dharma Down with Ryza Martinez

 

And to recall what I wrote in my previous post, I imagine 2012 telling me that "Today, you will be afraid to take that leap of faith and you wished you did 2 years ago. But if you will let me, life will unfold itself the way you want it to be. You will reach that destination and take a glimpse of that past when you had that regret, remaining silent while tears fall down your cheeks. For this time, you are speechless and ecstatic at the infinite possibilities that welcome you."  I must admit, teaching was not one of my so-called dreams back then but now that I've immersed myself in this realm, I come to find solace in it as I continuously learn not just from the experience itself but also from those casual conversations with my students who made me even more patient than before.  Life has slowly unfolded and showed me that there are so many things out there waiting to be known. There are so many wishes waiting to be granted, if only I let them. As such, this year will be intended for more discernment hoping I'll reach that destination real soon. Hoping that as 2012 progresses, I'll be in awe of what I feel and be grateful that I have found what I truly love.

The real struggle of finding one's love never ends. It never is enough to just settle for knowing and accepting. The matter itself requires a constant battle to strive and give more reasons why it's best to allow oneself to be vulnerable, waiting for the moment of truth not realizing it has been there all along.

It was a great start, 2012. Keep surprising me with good memories. :)

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Addendum: Whitney Houston's passing was really saddening for me. Her songs will forever be remembered together with the many memories that have become one with them. RIP, Whitney. :(

Unbounded Veracities

While looking for that old text back in college, I came to see one pile of papers and browsed through them. Let me share with you an old Theo 131 paper of mine (Marriage, Family Life and Human Sexuality Course in Ateneo):
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The profundity of love can never be encapsulated with words for every mystery that lies beneath its complexity is boundless for words. Different appreciations for various contexts, every individual has his own experience to relate with in attempting to discuss the very essence of love. The attempt to define love is in itself, a mystery that would revolve in a deeper effort to explain one's knowledge that has been attached to many categories of love.

As the years have come and passed, I have become more mature in handling life's ambiguity, coming to understand that the best feelings are those that have no words to describe them. Whenever we feel ecstatic, the overjoyed emotions become vivid from the outside so much so that the need to verbally express it becomes futile. Just in attempting to utter the words "I love you" to one's significant other, we are in our continuous search for words to just convey the message in a tangible manner able to capture emotions complementing it. Metaphors, symbols, and the like often help up define these so-called "feelings" that trigger our moods. True, love should not be misconstrued as a feeling for it is rooted in the decisions that may volitional and not emotional. Love is an intention and an action, so much so that we have the willingness to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth. Indeed, it is not a matter of finding the "right" person because being right for the other may not be right for another, but a matter of being the right person for the one you choose to love.

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. We love because we find that special happiness that we long and seek to have; we have been called by God to love for He is love and in knowing who He is, we learn who man is.

The world is a vast place that is full of love. We are surrounded by God's creations that continue to remind us of His infinite love for humankind and for the rest of His creatures. Our existence is a reality that love is present; that we are destined to be co-creators of God in living a life of vocation. How we respond to God's challenges becomes our test to reveal His love to others. Just as in choosing to love, how we react to the circumstances is inherently involved in achieving our fullest potential as human beings, and growing to be who we should be for ourselves as well as for the person we choose to love. This spiritual growth is in its essence, an effort to include someone in the core of one's life such that self-love and self-growth becomes fulfilled.

We are all agents of our own actions. What we have shown others may be their foundation of defining our individualistic nature. Just as what Scott Peck said, "The experience of real love has to do with ego boundaries, since it involves an extension of one's limits." There were times when my limits have become overstretched to the point that I had decided on letting go and ending the very sublime experience of being in love but I have come to realize that it has been even stronger because of this transcendence. My limit starts to defy its bounds. I am able to survive even more when I extend my limits to the fullest capacity. This is a choice that has molded me into becoming a better person even more.

Love is when one knows that no matter what is done at the end of the day, you won't change your mind; it is only wanting what's best for that special person. 

Copyright 07.12.2007
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Christmas always reminds me of love. It's funny how I realized what I've written 4 years back is still appropriate in 2011. Advanced Merry Christmas! :)

Someday

Merriam-Webster's Definition:

some·day \ˈsəm-ˌdā\

adv.

at some future time

Such a simple word yet so many beautiful meanings and implications arise from it, at least for me.

Possibility

Even though it cannot happen yet, we remain open to the possibility that someday, it will. Someday, we will make it happen. Time allows us to mature ergo, what is absent now can be made present soon. Someday.

Waiting

Because we know there is that possibility, we become patient so much so that we are willing to wait. Waiting is difficult especially when one does not know what he's waiting for. However, it is in this act that allows us to cross the lines - to transcend and overcome our limits. Because even if we know we will suffer and get tired of it, we hold on to that possibility and to the chance that someday, we can obtain our heart's desires. Someday.

Hoping

Hope here is never treated only in a diluted sense where we expect our wishes to come true and believe these would happen. It is not something like optimism that expects results in the end but rather, it never demands/provokes/dares anything.

Hope can only be possible when despair is evident. It is despair when one waits for the unknown thus, we begin to embrace patience and in so doing, we hope. Because there is no insistence, real hope relies on the faith of it happening someday. In the passage of time, I hope things will be better. Someday.

Promise

Though uncertain and indefinite, someday somehow connotes a promise that it can/will be. With the waiting and hoping, a promise forms from the possibilities that time offers. Time gives us that sense of fulfilling something we haven't done in the past and so we have that unsaid promise. Promises exist because of our understanding of the future. As such, someday provides that sense of letting everything be in its own time. In saying "Someday", I have opened myself to having faith and hoping (refer to the description above) in my promise, fulfilled or not.

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Someday

(music and lyrics by Sassy Guerrero, © 2010)

If there's one thing I regret

Since the day that we met

I've never been truly honest

Feelings were kept hidden

Words were left unspoken

That I've already fallen

Refrain:

but will it still work out

knowing you're gone now?

I'll make a new plan

take the chance

Chorus:

Someday, we'll have the courage

To say those 3 words

Truth should be told

Someday, we'll fight for what's right

To stay with each other

Be together forever

someday

If there's one thing I know

There's still that tomorrow

To try again and mend what's broken

Cherish those memories

Create our destinies

Yes, love's full of mysteries

(refrain then chorus)

Bridge:

I'm tired of hiding and waiting

Let's make today the beginning

Of something worth lasting

Coz if truth be told right now

I love you's not enough somehow….

I never wrote this song with all these in mind. In fact, I'm quite surprised I captured love with just one word: Someday. While writing, I just remembered this certain someone who remains to be an inspiration and voila, the song came to be.

So, to you, who made this song possible: Thank You. Happy Valentine's Day.

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Feel free to download it on my Soundclick page sometime in the afternoon. :) (For some reason, I can't upload the song right now.)

Date a Girl Who Reads

This post seems to be spreading lately and I felt the need to re-post it as well, perhaps because I am that girl who chooses books over clothes; I am that girl who'd enjoy Friday nights at home with a cup of coffee and a sci-fi/medical thriller book instead of partying at clubs and whatnot. I am that girl who prefers brains more than anything.

Got this from Ayeth's blog.


Date A Girl Who Reads by Rosemarie Urquico

(In Response to Charles Warnke's You Should Date An Illiterate Girl.)

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

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I'd love to write something like this one of these days - "Date a Guy Who Reads". Maybe, maybe not. But probably soon.

treasured trash

Unknown numbers that call and not respond to text messages whenever asked who they are might be perceived as some prank caller or stalker. Now the former, I can ignore; the latter, I CANNOT STAND. I cannot not think about them because I know that in a way, they would really act and do something MORE than just stalking. I do not understand why but believe me, I have been through that creepy experience to really know.

Someone called me earlier twice and ignored my reply and calls when I tried to ask his/her identity. So when I arrived home, I then checked my old phone for that number but still got no idea. Good thing it made me open my old phone and browse through those old messages, especially these:

It's hard to wait for someone who has no plan to arrive; hard to understand someone who never explains. But it's harder to live without that someone who makes hard things worthy.

Love for the sake of love without anything in return? Ideal. But can we really expect ourselves to feel this way? Act, yes; but feel? Maybe not. I believe love is giving a big part of yourself, and in the process, you find yourself needing some of it back.

I still kept those quotes after all these years and wow, they still have that effect. How cheesy, but I must admit they're actually making sense. :))

Thanks to that unknown caller, I got to read and reminisce on the good ol' days and still relate it to the now. Ideas/blessings do come in many forms of disguises.

Good night!

Contentment

Today is Christmas, and one realization hit me:

Christmas is better when you were a kid.

As I saw my younger cousin open gifts (usually, I was the kid whom everyone loved to fool about Santa and all those gimmicks about Christmas) and jump every now and then when there's a new shirt, toy, and set of chocolates, it dawned on me that I was way past that phase of enjoying this event. Damn, I am old.

I used to defend my beliefs about Santa to my cousins and friends - how I always received my toy trains, Harry Potter collectibles, Ruffles, Lays, Toblerone, and more chocolates and goodies that I have always wished for. But now that we've all grown up, we have stopped putting up stockings and letters on the Christmas tree and just laugh that old thought away. Santa was back to being the myth it has always been.

Although this may be reality, we may never be able to appreciate Christmas in just this sense--how we see Santa and used to believe in him. Santa, as what my dad tells me, is this spirit of giving that remains with us whenever this time of the year comes. Kids would enjoy this celebration all the more because of that belief and how we keep writing that wishlist in hopes of someone making those wishes come true. That's why we never let their hopes down, that Santa isn't real. Santa will remain real for as long as you believe there's someone out there who will continue to give us hope.

I may no longer be a kid but I will remain a kid at heart, content with the belief that Santa remains true in the spirit of giving, being grateful for friends, family, and all the other blessings that came our way. For that, Christmas remains alive.

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday to the Christ that God gave us. :)