The Road So Far

"Though you don't have a clue, love has found its way to you."  - Unfold (acg ©2012)

I started this year having doubts at so many things - trapped at this crossroad, each path offering infinite possibilities to grow and find myself, knowing I am quite certain there is something that I still haven't found yet. This certainty was all that I needed to allow life to unfold itself before my eyes.

And it did.

January was a Hello to the many successes that I still have yet to discover. Despite having the dilemma of doing even greater things, it was a tough call whether to stay or go, or do something else. To say that this month was eventful will be an understatement. Every single day meant a new goal or challenge, seeing how every chance opened new windows for discovering myself.

February was even better as I both said Hello to the acceptance of a goodbye and Farewell to my frequent dose of so-called inspiration. That one reason for allowing me to let love in was just there but really never here. This is not about letting go, but rather facing the reality of learning to let go as I am off to something even better and concrete. Definitely a challenge that I have now accepted.

Aside from work and love both colliding at the first quarter of 2012, I've also been blessed to share my song in the LIKKAS week, collaborating with a colleague and just enjoying the gift of music. AJ Rafael's concert was also remarkable, especially when it was my first time to watch a concert alone due to changes in schedule. That made it even more memorable! It was a perfect night to contemplate and reminisce what were and what could have been.

Singing "Someday" - an original composition

Singing "Tadhana" by Up Dharma Down with Ryza Martinez

 

And to recall what I wrote in my previous post, I imagine 2012 telling me that "Today, you will be afraid to take that leap of faith and you wished you did 2 years ago. But if you will let me, life will unfold itself the way you want it to be. You will reach that destination and take a glimpse of that past when you had that regret, remaining silent while tears fall down your cheeks. For this time, you are speechless and ecstatic at the infinite possibilities that welcome you."  I must admit, teaching was not one of my so-called dreams back then but now that I've immersed myself in this realm, I come to find solace in it as I continuously learn not just from the experience itself but also from those casual conversations with my students who made me even more patient than before.  Life has slowly unfolded and showed me that there are so many things out there waiting to be known. There are so many wishes waiting to be granted, if only I let them. As such, this year will be intended for more discernment hoping I'll reach that destination real soon. Hoping that as 2012 progresses, I'll be in awe of what I feel and be grateful that I have found what I truly love.

The real struggle of finding one's love never ends. It never is enough to just settle for knowing and accepting. The matter itself requires a constant battle to strive and give more reasons why it's best to allow oneself to be vulnerable, waiting for the moment of truth not realizing it has been there all along.

It was a great start, 2012. Keep surprising me with good memories. :)

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Addendum: Whitney Houston's passing was really saddening for me. Her songs will forever be remembered together with the many memories that have become one with them. RIP, Whitney. :(

moving beyond

Literally a few minutes ago, I  purchased Gabe Bondoc's Spring EP 2011 and it exceeded my expectations. I cannot believe he has grown and improved so much as a musician and person. As I am currently listening to it, I pondered on my own growth, too -- as a person, biologist, and musician.

One year has come and gone and here I am still contemplating on that dream. Changes are now evident, with my sudden career shift as I joined the corporate world and now a part of the working class. This was never how I envisioned myself to be but I had to adapt and recreate myself in order to fully actualize that dream. Now, I still cling to the thought of pursuing further studies, redefining the future plan to a more specific and practical one.

One year has made me realize how different I have become. I have remained good friends with the people who continue to be part of my life after college and also made new connections here and there. One year brought so many new perspectives in my own relationships with my former professors who became my good friends, classmates, colleagues, and family. I am just so blessed and grateful that I can still count on a few people who are willing to support endlessly. Some people may leave but there are just those who remain true, close and special.
 
I love supporting independent artists as I am one myself, especially when there's hard work involved. Definitely an extended amount of time and effort was needed to produce this album! Gabe remains to be one of my biggest inspirations to pursue my music whenever time lets me. So, please support if you're into the acoustic/singer-songwriter genre. Artists like him need to be recognized even more than those who are currently in the mainstream because he really has the talent and drive to entertain and touch people's lives through music. I hope I can do the same, too.

There are so many things I want to do but it seems that time can never be enough. I'll start with those baby steps, prepare for even greater heights and pursue that new path, hopefully continuing my music on the side. It won't be an easy road ahead but it will be worth it.

I've got miles to go before I get there, 
But I will get there, I know.  - Lion by Gabe Bondoc

broken road

It's been days since I revived my love for this song by Rascal Flatts entitled Bless the Broken Road not because it has a beautiful melody but the lyrics, oh they just speak right through the heart. Now the repeat button has been overly used. :)

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you, but maybe I should start becoming aware that a certain Higher Being has all the reasons why things happen, why I've stuck to this belief that all will be well. As the song says, "It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true". Mais je souhaite que tu sais quoi et comment important tu es pour moi; et j'espère que tu es toujours là avec moi quand je réalise mes rêves.

I'm not a fan of country music/bands but this song clearly is an exception. Alas, a new inspiration for my own song.

Someday

Merriam-Webster's Definition:

some·day \ˈsəm-ˌdā\

adv.

at some future time

Such a simple word yet so many beautiful meanings and implications arise from it, at least for me.

Possibility

Even though it cannot happen yet, we remain open to the possibility that someday, it will. Someday, we will make it happen. Time allows us to mature ergo, what is absent now can be made present soon. Someday.

Waiting

Because we know there is that possibility, we become patient so much so that we are willing to wait. Waiting is difficult especially when one does not know what he's waiting for. However, it is in this act that allows us to cross the lines - to transcend and overcome our limits. Because even if we know we will suffer and get tired of it, we hold on to that possibility and to the chance that someday, we can obtain our heart's desires. Someday.

Hoping

Hope here is never treated only in a diluted sense where we expect our wishes to come true and believe these would happen. It is not something like optimism that expects results in the end but rather, it never demands/provokes/dares anything.

Hope can only be possible when despair is evident. It is despair when one waits for the unknown thus, we begin to embrace patience and in so doing, we hope. Because there is no insistence, real hope relies on the faith of it happening someday. In the passage of time, I hope things will be better. Someday.

Promise

Though uncertain and indefinite, someday somehow connotes a promise that it can/will be. With the waiting and hoping, a promise forms from the possibilities that time offers. Time gives us that sense of fulfilling something we haven't done in the past and so we have that unsaid promise. Promises exist because of our understanding of the future. As such, someday provides that sense of letting everything be in its own time. In saying "Someday", I have opened myself to having faith and hoping (refer to the description above) in my promise, fulfilled or not.

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Someday

(music and lyrics by Sassy Guerrero, © 2010)

If there's one thing I regret

Since the day that we met

I've never been truly honest

Feelings were kept hidden

Words were left unspoken

That I've already fallen

Refrain:

but will it still work out

knowing you're gone now?

I'll make a new plan

take the chance

Chorus:

Someday, we'll have the courage

To say those 3 words

Truth should be told

Someday, we'll fight for what's right

To stay with each other

Be together forever

someday

If there's one thing I know

There's still that tomorrow

To try again and mend what's broken

Cherish those memories

Create our destinies

Yes, love's full of mysteries

(refrain then chorus)

Bridge:

I'm tired of hiding and waiting

Let's make today the beginning

Of something worth lasting

Coz if truth be told right now

I love you's not enough somehow….

I never wrote this song with all these in mind. In fact, I'm quite surprised I captured love with just one word: Someday. While writing, I just remembered this certain someone who remains to be an inspiration and voila, the song came to be.

So, to you, who made this song possible: Thank You. Happy Valentine's Day.

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Feel free to download it on my Soundclick page sometime in the afternoon. :) (For some reason, I can't upload the song right now.)

telos

Things have fallen into place lately, including the emotions that were scattered all over.

I normally don't dwell on certain things for a long time. I hate waiting and all the other things that require patience.

But i do think I've somewhat changed, if only for that part. :)
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I'm listening to Ben Deignan's cover of Beauty of Who You Are for 3 straight days now and I still can't get enough of it. Perhaps it's the jazzy/soulful vibe to it combined with the poetic lyrics.


you're a sweet little mystery sent from the stars
and that's the beauty of who you are


A mystery will unfold by itself, without being forced to. I don't know when, but I know it will come. Soon. :)