moving beyond

Literally a few minutes ago, I  purchased Gabe Bondoc's Spring EP 2011 and it exceeded my expectations. I cannot believe he has grown and improved so much as a musician and person. As I am currently listening to it, I pondered on my own growth, too -- as a person, biologist, and musician.

One year has come and gone and here I am still contemplating on that dream. Changes are now evident, with my sudden career shift as I joined the corporate world and now a part of the working class. This was never how I envisioned myself to be but I had to adapt and recreate myself in order to fully actualize that dream. Now, I still cling to the thought of pursuing further studies, redefining the future plan to a more specific and practical one.

One year has made me realize how different I have become. I have remained good friends with the people who continue to be part of my life after college and also made new connections here and there. One year brought so many new perspectives in my own relationships with my former professors who became my good friends, classmates, colleagues, and family. I am just so blessed and grateful that I can still count on a few people who are willing to support endlessly. Some people may leave but there are just those who remain true, close and special.
 
I love supporting independent artists as I am one myself, especially when there's hard work involved. Definitely an extended amount of time and effort was needed to produce this album! Gabe remains to be one of my biggest inspirations to pursue my music whenever time lets me. So, please support if you're into the acoustic/singer-songwriter genre. Artists like him need to be recognized even more than those who are currently in the mainstream because he really has the talent and drive to entertain and touch people's lives through music. I hope I can do the same, too.

There are so many things I want to do but it seems that time can never be enough. I'll start with those baby steps, prepare for even greater heights and pursue that new path, hopefully continuing my music on the side. It won't be an easy road ahead but it will be worth it.

I've got miles to go before I get there, 
But I will get there, I know.  - Lion by Gabe Bondoc

broken road

It's been days since I revived my love for this song by Rascal Flatts entitled Bless the Broken Road not because it has a beautiful melody but the lyrics, oh they just speak right through the heart. Now the repeat button has been overly used. :)

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you, but maybe I should start becoming aware that a certain Higher Being has all the reasons why things happen, why I've stuck to this belief that all will be well. As the song says, "It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true". Mais je souhaite que tu sais quoi et comment important tu es pour moi; et j'espère que tu es toujours là avec moi quand je réalise mes rêves.

I'm not a fan of country music/bands but this song clearly is an exception. Alas, a new inspiration for my own song.

striving for positivity

It was February 10, 2011, Thursday. I have been made into a new person, where positivity seems lost into oblivion.

It will take some time for me to repair what got lost and what he crushed. It breaks my heart to do this but for now, this seems to be the best way to cope and heal. Let's not rush and be impulsive to these changes. I will slowly adapt and learn to accept that it's just how you deal with your emotions and I can't do anything about it. No matter how much I try to erase the moment in my head, I just can't. It pains me to be so negative towards you but I can't help it - this is how I deal with mine.

Life is too short to be taken for granted and to dwell on the bad experiences but for us to appreciate it even better, it's a must that we learn to embrace the bad to see the good and learn from it.

I will seriously fight the negativity but for now, only time will tell. Let it be.

All is not lost for hope remains. All the time.

hold that thought

Lily: You can't design your life like a building, it doesn't work that way. You just have to live it and it'll design itself.

Ted: So what, I should just do nothing?

Lily: No, listen to what the world is telling you to do, and take the leap.

--How I Met Your Mother S04E24

---

Working wasn't the "plan" after graduation. In fact, I have always dreamed and planned to become a neurosurgeon, grow old doing medical research and saving lives. Unfortunately, some plans never turn out perfectly. Maybe we just have to be more flexible to what life offers us. Be more open to the possibility of exploring, start anew and "take the leap".

Let's see where this new tide takes me. I always believe change is good, oftentimes for the better. I guess I just have to put the so-called 'dream' on hold and wish for time to let me pursue it soon.

Soon. :)

Push.

Life will test your capacity to adapt before advancing you... so, if you're doing all you can, and the road still gets rough, you're going the right way. Push.

- Gabe Bondoc

finding that adrenalin back

It's been a while since i last wrote something here. Life just happened, and i am currently enjoying/getting used to a new chapter i call Reality.

With college now gone, everything's bound to be uncertain. No more routines, graded homeworks, and concrete motivation-- freedom is definitely at hand. Yes, I love having this unlimited free time in my hands, reading those books i've always wanted to read (not those biology text books, photocopied philo readings, etc), play the guitar, piano and take time to write some new music. Everything just seems to be spontaneous.

But i know this kind of lifestyle should only be temporary. Even though a break from all those 5 years of studying is what i truly need, at some point, i must find that exact reason to become inspired. Don't get me wrong, I am inspired, but just in a different way. I miss having that drive to push my limits further. And yes, I love competitions. healthy competitions. :)

I'm not rushing into anything. Maybe i'm still searching for that one good reason when i'll be able to go back and be the competitive me again. I'm still enjoying this well-deserved rest but when the time comes that boredom strikes, i guess i should have already found that reason.

On another note, the latest Grey's Anatomy episode was amazing. Remarkable and unbelievable prosthetics. I sometimes see myself as Cristina Yang, being too driven and unable to express her feelings, except for extreme cases that rarely happen. Of course, it really means a lot to have someone who can be there for you. just be there.

"No matter how thick-skinned we try to be, there are millions of electrifying nerve endings in there -- open and exposed and feeling way too much. Try as we might to keep from feeling pain, sometimes it's just unavoidable. Sometimes, that's the only thing left. Just dealing."

Just dealing. and hopefully, moving forward.