You are the master of your life, and the Universe is answering your every command. Don't become mesmerized by the pictures that have appeared if they are not what you want. Take responsibility for them, make light of them if you can, and let them go. Then think new thoughts of what you want, feel them, and be grateful that it is done.--The Secretyes, it's all in the mind.
constantly deals with nostalgia, hope, optimism and everything in between. Mostly random musings about the ordinary, but think again. A space to remind her of a past worth remembering and a future worth waiting for.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
it's all in the mind
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
hopeful attempt
Changes do come for the better and also when you least expect it to happen.
I've been reading The Secret the other day and I'm still trying to believe that positive thinking does indeed help one achieve his dreams or to say realistically, goals. It's great having to lessen our fear and anxiety about what's to happen in the future or having our prayers and wishes answered by the Lord.
When it comes to believing and having faith, my life is a perfect example of a rollercoaster ride. I was born and raised as a Catholic, with a religious family and a Catholic education. It was when I reached high school that I started missing the Sunday masses because of seemingly more important things i.e. my academics or anything school-related. Reaching college was both better and worse as years went by. At first, I attended those masses held in the chapel and would even go there whenever i needed peace and quiet. Not that the library isn't peaceful enough; it was the chapel where i found inner peace.
But things changed. I was too busy for all these and for the rest of those religious 'requirements' that were too much for me. Theology was the only avenue where I could talk to Him (although i must admit hating the subject for i didn't even know why it takes more of my time than my majors) and before i went to bed. At least this tradition of praying before sleeping never got lost within me.
And when Philosophy came specifically the Philosophy of Religion, it was one of those interesting subjects i valued and actually enjoyed studying probably because this was the most accessible way for me to understand the Divine better. Don't get me wrong--I do believe there's a God but I just don't get if He truly exists or if he's just an illusion people make to rationalize their lives and the problems they have. So this subject allowed me to question his existence (unlike Theology where it's already a given) and that somewhat gave me a sense of clarity.
The most memorable topic from that subject was about Marcel's Hope. Hope is one of those misunderstood words or worse, overused ones that may be an understatement to what it really is. My grandmother's condition is now unpredictable after having a stroke and now, pneumonia. She's in the ICU and all I can do is Hope. I can contribute with the researches whether to have the tracheotomy or not and after that, I am left to being patient and hopeful.
Hope is operative within the context of time hence, the need for patience. It's true that when we don't have any other option/way to save someone from being a captive of their illness, it's when we come to Him and at least try to pray for a better change. And with this patience comes the need to wait but my attempt to divert my mind from thinking about her condition is futile. I have read books, played the guitar and piano, surfed the net and talked to my friends but nothing changed. All the more that my passion for medicine is pushed to a higher level that I can't wait to become a doctor and do what I can to help; so i can finally not feel helpless about this family problem.
My passion has never faded but reality bites. Why does this have to happen now and not when I'm already a surgeon? I terribly miss my lola. I miss her support and eagerness whenever I have a story to tell her or just updates that I've seen this special person and spent time with him. I miss the lola who was just there when I needed her and when my parents were mad at me. Now she can't even talk or move. What's worse, chasing her breath so she can live? This is too much.
But hope is only possible when there is despair. Perhaps it's one of God's tests... for the family members to be closer with each other and for all of us to keep the faith.. To be strong for our beloved grandmother.
I'll give that positive thinking a try. Who knows, it may just be the solution we've been waiting for.
I've been reading The Secret the other day and I'm still trying to believe that positive thinking does indeed help one achieve his dreams or to say realistically, goals. It's great having to lessen our fear and anxiety about what's to happen in the future or having our prayers and wishes answered by the Lord.
When it comes to believing and having faith, my life is a perfect example of a rollercoaster ride. I was born and raised as a Catholic, with a religious family and a Catholic education. It was when I reached high school that I started missing the Sunday masses because of seemingly more important things i.e. my academics or anything school-related. Reaching college was both better and worse as years went by. At first, I attended those masses held in the chapel and would even go there whenever i needed peace and quiet. Not that the library isn't peaceful enough; it was the chapel where i found inner peace.
But things changed. I was too busy for all these and for the rest of those religious 'requirements' that were too much for me. Theology was the only avenue where I could talk to Him (although i must admit hating the subject for i didn't even know why it takes more of my time than my majors) and before i went to bed. At least this tradition of praying before sleeping never got lost within me.
And when Philosophy came specifically the Philosophy of Religion, it was one of those interesting subjects i valued and actually enjoyed studying probably because this was the most accessible way for me to understand the Divine better. Don't get me wrong--I do believe there's a God but I just don't get if He truly exists or if he's just an illusion people make to rationalize their lives and the problems they have. So this subject allowed me to question his existence (unlike Theology where it's already a given) and that somewhat gave me a sense of clarity.
The most memorable topic from that subject was about Marcel's Hope. Hope is one of those misunderstood words or worse, overused ones that may be an understatement to what it really is. My grandmother's condition is now unpredictable after having a stroke and now, pneumonia. She's in the ICU and all I can do is Hope. I can contribute with the researches whether to have the tracheotomy or not and after that, I am left to being patient and hopeful.
Hope is operative within the context of time hence, the need for patience. It's true that when we don't have any other option/way to save someone from being a captive of their illness, it's when we come to Him and at least try to pray for a better change. And with this patience comes the need to wait but my attempt to divert my mind from thinking about her condition is futile. I have read books, played the guitar and piano, surfed the net and talked to my friends but nothing changed. All the more that my passion for medicine is pushed to a higher level that I can't wait to become a doctor and do what I can to help; so i can finally not feel helpless about this family problem.
My passion has never faded but reality bites. Why does this have to happen now and not when I'm already a surgeon? I terribly miss my lola. I miss her support and eagerness whenever I have a story to tell her or just updates that I've seen this special person and spent time with him. I miss the lola who was just there when I needed her and when my parents were mad at me. Now she can't even talk or move. What's worse, chasing her breath so she can live? This is too much.
But hope is only possible when there is despair. Perhaps it's one of God's tests... for the family members to be closer with each other and for all of us to keep the faith.. To be strong for our beloved grandmother.
I'll give that positive thinking a try. Who knows, it may just be the solution we've been waiting for.
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