"Today, you
will be afraid to take that leap of faith and you wished you did 2 years ago.
But if you will let me, life will unfold itself the way you want it to be. You
will reach that destination and take a glimpse of that past when you had that
regret, remaining silent while tears fall down your cheeks. For this time, you
are speechless and ecstatic at the infinite possibilities that welcome
you." - 2012
For me, 2011 was a year of
eccentricities, surprises and risks. I made a wish in 2010 and it was surely
granted in the second quarter of the year. I found myself venturing into that
uncertainty without looking back. Surely a bold move, but with that risk came a
wonderfully unexpected reward - that which I will always treasure.
Just like any year,
it also had its ups and downs. From having dilemmas here and there, reunions
and dates with friends, and literally
defying gravity, how can I forget 2011? But that bad fall resulted to a pinched
nerve or to be more technical, L5 radiculopathy. I have had back pains for
months but thankfully, therapy does wonders although I may still have clicking
joints at the back. I could only wish this fall has something good to offer me,
apart from the so-called lessons that it brings.
I found myself
growing and becoming more mature this 2011. There have been so many firsts this
year, God knows I have overworked myself. In fact, too much work made me
question my social life, and that one important thing I have yet to clear up.
If there is something to be learned this 2011, I guess it would be this:
"Be
clear, and make IT clear."
The eccentric part
is when things suddenly seem so vague, courage just can't be found. While it is true that "love rewards the
brave", doubt continues to cloud judgment. Honestly, how much is too much? How often does one have to give that
someone the benefit of the doubt? How long must one have to wait?
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| http://moderndesignlife.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/loverewardsthebrave.jpg |
So, 2011 may have
given endless opportunities yet it was unable to supply the answers I badly needed. Or maybe, it's just a matter
of balance. That even if the questions haven't been answered [yet], time allows
one to fuel that passion to prepare oneself for a new moment of letting one's
guard down.
But really, I am
still hopeful that everything will be - as it must and should be. I sound
teleological but this only happens when clarity isn't within reach, especially
when the odds are against having a reasonable explanation for it. After all, why must one seek for answers and explanation when it
does not have to be answered and explained? This state of uncertainty
proves that there is something more than the mind and deeper than myself. There
is love.
As a graduate of the natural sciences, I may have been too
engrossed in the idea of seeking for answers but do I really need to now? Is that
all there is for us? I guess not. Yes, the absurdity that happened in 2011 will
always remain unanswered - even in 2012 or until 2015. I just have to trust and
for the first time, rely on that faith.
"Take that leap
and endure the pain if you have to. I tell you,
faith will make the answers realizable and the reasons knowable, giving
you the clarity you have always wanted."
- Risk
Have a crazy and
fulfilling 2012! :)
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“It's not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It's because we dare not venture that they are difficult.” - Seneca
